Have you ever wanted something so badly, that you would do anything to have it in your possession? Has that something ever happened to be a product endorsed by a celebrity or athlete? Today more and more companies are relying on famous people to sell their products. Anita Elberse writes in “Risks and rewards of celebrity endorsements”, how essential it is to have celebrity endorsements to be successful. She states that endorsements are flourishing in three ways. Celebrities help tap into the companies fan base, endorsements trigger sales by reassuring consumers of the quality of the endorsed brand, and that an alliance with an endorser can convey important information about an attribute that helps differentiate a brand from its competitors. Although endorsements, according to Elberse, may seem like a positive incentive for most major companies, she fails to also note the risks involved. By endorsing celebrities companies are potentially portraying a bad image of themselves, false advertising and gaining a negative reputation.
Elberse explains that celebrities help tap into the companies fan base. This can be seen in a negative light though. In 2005 Paris Hilton did a very risky commercial for Carl’s Jr., wearing nothing but a bathing suit and heels, washing a car eating their $6 hamburger. How does this tap into Carl’s Jr.’s fan base? What does washing a car have to do with their new burger? Let’s face it Paris Hilton will probably never eat a $6 burger. This poses a problem for the younger Carl’s Jr. fan base. Kids idolize Paris Hilton, and seeing her scarfing down a greasy burger in her bathing suit gives them the impression that they should too. Parents seem to be picking up on this though and are not happy. The Parents Television Council even stated their opinion on this commercial saying that it is “soft core porn”. Will those parents ever let their kids eat Carl’s Jr? Have they potentially lost customers because of the dirty image seen on the commercial? This commercial has nothing to do with the product trying to be sold. Before Paris Hilton, Carl’s Jr.’s customers could care less about who is representing it; the burgers still taste the same. Obviously, recruiting Hilton had a negative effect on their fan base, at least according to angry parents. Commercials have become so far fetched that any celebrity can represent any brand.
Elberse also believes endorsements are successful because they reassure customers that the quality of the brand is good. A great example of this is Maria Sharapova, female tennis star, endorsing the camera brand Canon. Sharapova is a phenomenal athlete, but what does she know about cameras or the quality of cameras? This just seems to be false advertising. People who are looking for a camera probably aren’t going to buy one based on what the tennis star endorsing it says about it. These endorsements make people believe that the product must be good if celebrities are using them, but just because they are being paid to endorse them so it doesn’t mean they are using them. Another example is actress Eva Longoria endorsing L’Oreal Paris hair color. Do you really believe the millionaire actress Eva Longoria goes to Wal-Mart just to pick up her L’Oreal hair color? Just because someone buys the same hair dye as Eva Longoria doesn’t mean their hair is going to look like hers. L’Oreal Paris’ website says that “Eva’s talent and charm make her the perfect choice to represent L’Oreal Paris as an international spokesperson”, what does her charm have to do with the hair color she is using? Just because she is a popular actress the brand knows the hair color she is endorsing will sell. These commercials put images in people’s heads that the product must be good if celebrities are using them, but the fact is that just because they are endorsing the product doesn’t mean they are actually using the product. They are being paid to “use” these products, so of course they are going to say it is the best out there. But it is just false advertising, masking the truth.
Elberse states that celebrity endorsers are successful because an alliance with an endorser can convey important information about an attribute that helps differentiate a brand from its competitors. Tiger Woods had a six year partnership with Accenture, which is a global management consulting, technology services and outsourcing company. While with Accenture Wood’s emphasized the attributes such as strategic focus and discipline, the payoffs of its risk-taking behavior, and its ability to recover from setbacks. But after his affairs with other women were publicized, the firm decided to cut ties with him to limit a negative impact on its reputation. They believed that this public affair would put their brand in a negative light so they decided to do away with Wood’s altogether. Obviously Accenture cared more about their sales than all the money that Woods had previously brought in and had no problem dropping him. Reputation is everything to major companies, and if it is in jeopardy then they will do anything to salvage it.
Endorsements are not always a good thing. Yes they sometimes bump up profit, but there can be negative effects in the long run. Such as children not thinking on their own because they are programmed to want to be just like celebrities and athletes. The quality of a brand not as good as the endorsed celebrities promised so they don’t gain repeat customers. Also, certain brands reputation meaning more to them than the actual product and the satisfaction of their customers. Celebrity endorsements play up image in order to get customers. Most of the time they are successful, but that doesn’t mean that the customers are going to be happy with the outcome.
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Dear Railey,
ReplyDeleteI would first like to compliment you on your strategy of using rhetorical questions during your writing. This technique was very effective and really kept me interested throughout. I was pleased to see that the questions were not just asked at the beginning to never show up again, and that they were evenly dispersed throughout the entirety of the paper. The biggest concern that I noticed in reading your paper was the lack of a work cited page or any resources to back up your opinion. There were so few sources that I was left confused of what your stand on the issue really was a good amount of the time. I think you should go back through the article and do some research to find evidence from outside sources for some of your points to make them legitimate and believable. Also, remember to either cite in the essay or provide a works cited at the end to avoid problems with plagiarism. I would suggest providing some information on the background of your editorial’s editor as well. In your article, there is a section labeled “Editor’s Note,” that you could use. This would give the reader a clearer perspective o n the subject and could possibly make the reader believe you more if he or she isn’t well trained or experienced. I really thought the way you incorporated the editor’s thoughts and ideas in her article was very strong and thorough and I really admired that. Though this seems like an editing comment, I would suggest that you watch out for the continuing pattern of fragments I see. This can be distracting and can take away from the professionalism and believability of your work. In the first paragraph I think you should state your point of view in a simple manner in a way that doesn’t give away all of your ideas, but gives the reader a general idea of how you feel about the subject. In general, I would say you should get some reliable sources and your paper would be really effective.
Thanks,
Katelyn
Railey,
ReplyDeleteI think you have a great topic here and there is so much that you can do with it. I think your intro is very strong and it really shows your stance, but it almost revealstoo much about the paper and what you're tying to prove/disprove. It states all of the authors main points that you cover later in the paper, and I see that you were tying to set up an outline for the remainder of the paper, but it might be a good idea to leave something for the reader to gain later in the paper.
Also, all of your paragraphs start the same way, with the authors name and then stating the point that you're going to be arguing. I understand that you're doing this to pick apart the authors argument, but I think there are aother ways to reword that so you have some varity in your paper.
There were some little grammer problems but overall it looked good. The only other thing I would like to comment on is the lack of crediblility. You didn't really have any strong sources. I saw that you quoted the parent television council and Loreal, but I would like to see more to back up your points and your thoughts.
Hope this helps and good luck on your final draft,
Kara
Railey,
ReplyDeleteI liked that you began your essay with questions to draw the reader in. Your topic is interesting and I think you have a strong rebuttal. However, some of your sentences are confusing and hard to follow. I think you have really good examples that support your argument but your paper would be stronger if you had more evidence to support your claim. Maybe you should try adding a quote from someone credible that agrees with you that celebrity endorsers can have malevolent effects on product sales. Also, your closing isn’t as strong or as focused as the rest of your paper. Go out strong with a good conclusion. I felt like your paper just ended, it didn’t actually conclude anything. The first part of your paper is too good to not end well. Overall, just make sure that you relate everything back to your argument and try to provide more evidence to support your claims. I think your paper is great and I enjoyed reading it.
Brooke Covington
I really enjoyed reading your rebuttal argument. You expressed your opinion well throughout the paper. I like how you used the order from the original argument as the order for your own argument. The way you addressed your audience was excellent. I liked how you got the audience involved in your piece by asking them relevant questions. It’s like you were showing them how much you cared about their opinion as well. The evidence that you used was also good for your paper. The only thing that I will and advise is that you incorporate your sources better. Like, where did the original argument come from (newspaper, magazine, etc.) and the year it was addressed to the public? Just basic stuff like that so that the audience would understand the credibility of your argument.
ReplyDeleteHey Railey!
ReplyDeleteYou really caught my attention with that hook of yours at the beginning of the paper. It made me want to keep reading to see where you were going to take the paper itself. I agree with your claim..it's interesting because Anita Elberse's title includes "risks and rewards" which is somewhat deceiving for the argument, or lack thereof she's making. When I read her article, I was expecting to get a more two-sided argument seeing as that's what her title implies, so that is why I also enjoyed reading your take because it opened up that other side in a unique way. Your thesis is strong. I like that it has the three points that you're planning on telling me throughout the paper. That shows strength in your planning process. Wow, good research and example with the Paris commercial. I agree with the fact that she would never eat a burger and the use of any celebrity for any brand, so good connection of those two thoughts. My main question there though is what if the intent of the commercial wasn't for kids though? I feel like an attractive, scantily clad woman would appeal to men, plus the fact she's eating a burger goes with men's call and appeal to their stomachs. I think yes, Carl's Jr. would have lost family customers, but haven't they gained teenage and even older male customers? And which is more important? You're second point is well made. I liked how you sounded realistic and even added an almost dry sense of humour to it. It might be a good idea to discuss further the idea of advertising masking the truth, only because I think most advertising does this and you are addressing one way of doing this (the use of celebrities), and I just don't feel satisfied...I want to know more of how this works and happens. I like how you even tied in Elberse's article when you discussed Tiger Woods in your third point, which I think is appropriate in the argument you chose. In your conclusion, I don't think you should suggest your opposing view's argument. You say things like, "Yes they sometimes bump up profit..." and "Most of the time they are successful..." I just want to encourage you to stay true and strong to yourself and your argument. You want to convince us, so don't let us even THINK about any other option or opinion. I did the same thing in my paper because I thought it was important to acknowledge the other viewpoint, but I think you did this to an extent successfully earlier in the essay, so remember to leave us with the idea that you are right. Overall, I find this very easy to read. I really enjoy your voice and the strength your paper exudes. I think you can even be more persuasive if you have more quotes, maybe product comments or opinions form people on the idea of celebrity endorsements themselves. That would add heaps to what you already have.
Keep Rockin', Katie
Railey,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your essay! You start off great, the rhetorical questions in your opening paragraph really captivate the reader, and keep them interested in the rest of the paper! I strongly agree with your argument, and agree that celebrities should not be endorsing items that they would never use themselves. Money is too much of a factor with the celebrities and companies, and I agree that there are a lot of negative images sent out to children by the celebrities. While the content of your paper is very good, I would recommend incorporating your evidence better into the paper, so it is more credible. Also, there are a few grammer mistakes throughout the paper. The last thing I noticed was that your paper is strong and very ineresting in the beginning but fizzles out some in the conclusion. If you could make the conclusion a little more exciting, that would make the paper even better! Overall, I really enjoyed reading your paper and I think it will end up being great!!- Olivia Miller
Hi Railey :)
ReplyDeleteI really liked your topic and thought it was an interesting one. I thought using the rhetorical questions were very good and were very good for making your points. I thought the structure of your essay was really good but it seemed to traditional and to be almost like a 5 paragraph essay that we learn in high school. I think adding more information and lengthening your paper will help strengthen your argument. I also think more emphasis on your opinion and acknowledging and responding to the opposing opinion. I also think more sources would benefit your paper greatly by increasing ethos. You could maybe use other stories about endorsements, I think it was Dell? where the guy who always said "Dude you're getting a Dell" or something like that was fired because he didn't really know anything about Dell. I'm pretty sure that's what happened? haha. But putting in more negative stories about celebrity endorsements will help to increase your argument and strengthen your essay. Good luck with the final draft :)
Danielle
Dear Railey,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I would like to say that your topic is really eye catching and was a very good choice because it can relate too all of us (Because who doesn’t watch TV and sees these commercials?). I liked the way you were able to back up your arguments by adding an example that uses people who are well known. Also, I thought your argument was pretty solid, but predictable. I only use the word predictable because after reading through the second paragraph and began reading the third paragraph, I felt I could predict what would come next. Even you have a writing style that is short and concise (Which I love to read), I feel you might want to mix the order of how you present your arguments. I feel it will add more of a variety, and it not make the reader just rush through the reading of your argument. For your sources, I really liked the way you were able to obtain more recent sources and you were able to apply more recent stories to your argument. It might be hard, but I feel you might want to just add one more paragraph talking about what types of commercials use these methods of advertisement and maybe some statistics. I feel it might provide the audience with more insight about what they could expect these types of commercials next time they watch TV (so they could have the, “Oh, I knew this was coming” expression”). I enjoyed reading through your argument because of your writing style and because of the topic, and I hope you take my suggestions for your final draft of your rebuttal essay.
Hi~Railey!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your essay. When I read your first part, I was exciting to read your essay. By using rhetorical question, I could think about my argument, and I was curious about how you responses about your editorial. I thought you were very good at catching the attention from audiences. Also, your topic was fun. Also, the summary of your editorial was great to know what your editorial was. However, while I was reading your essay, I couldn’t find how you use the resources to support your argument. If you use more reliable sources such as data or books than examples, your argument could be more strong and powerful. Also, I felt you responded about the editorial not saying your opinions. Of course, through your response, I could know your opinions. Yet, if you added some more your opinions, it could have more strong rebuttal essay. Overall, I really liked reading, and using of rhetorical question are very great! Through your essay, I could find my weakness and problems, and I knew the importance of getting attention from audiences. Thank you.!
Dear Railey,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your paper! When I saw the title of the article, I thought it would be boring, but it turned out to be a very interesting topic!
I really like the examples you use! Especially the one about Paris Hilton. They truly got your point across about how celebrity endorsement can be negative. However, maybe you could find some sources to site while talking about the commercials?
Also, in your intro paragraph, when talking about the article itself, you might want to put where the article is from and when it was written. But besides that, it's a great intro!
Keep up the great work and good luck with your last draft!
Hannah
Dear Railey,
ReplyDeleteYou really were able to improve your essay overall. You clearly stated what the editorial stated and your rebuttal. You were able to state each issue and give an example so that the reader can relate to what you are stating easier. However you did incorporate some evidence, but it is still lacking. In your second paragraph I saw that you had a source that was The Parents Television Council, which is good, but the other body paragraphs did not have that sort of source. The flow of your paper overall is ok, but still choppy. You use the words "just" quite a bit and I feel as if its like a halt in you paper. I should be able to keep reading. The first sentences in each paragraph are all the same which make the paper seem like a "laundry list" of statements rather than a continuous flow.
Dear Railey,
ReplyDeleteYou're essay was very interesting to read. I really agreed with your argument, and you had a good understanding on the topic. Your intro was good with lots of attention grabbers. However, your conclusion could not compare with the intro. I feel as if your paper ended abruptly. I feel like there could be better closure with it by just rewording a few things.
Also, it was just a little short of 1000 words which was the requirement. By adding more sources and examples, I feel like it could really lengthen your paper.
Additionally, I did not see a works cited page. Maybe you had one, but forgot to post it? Make sure that you post it in your final draft.
Also, I really enjoyed all the rhetorical questions that were spread out throughout your paper. It added some interest to it, and made the reader question themselves.
You also mention the Parents Television Council in the second paragraph. I feel like you could explain what the PTC does as a company.
Additionally, after reading over your thesis I noticed some repetition. It says, "By endorsing celebrities, companies are potentially portraying a bad image of themselves, false advertising, and gaining a negative reputation." The "companies are potentially portraying a bad image of themselves" and "gaining a negative reputation" are the same thing. Maybe you could reword it to this, "By endorsing celebrities, companies are potentially portraying a bad image of themselves, making false advertisements, and celebrities are gaining a negative reputation."
Those were just a few things I noticed. Overall, your paper was well written and informative. I really enjoyed it. Good luck on your next draft!
-Kate
Dear Railey,
ReplyDeleteLike other classmates commented above, I also liked how you began your essay. Your intro sentence is eyecatching and it made me interested. Your claim in the first paragraph was a little confusing to me. I agree with Kate that "portraying a bad image of themselves and gaining a negative reputation" are basically the same thing. It would be nice if your claim is more to the point. The claim the author of your editorial provided I believe is that "the rewards of relying on endorsers very likely far outweigh the risks". If you want to directly rebutt this claim, you can say that risks outweight the rewards and then go on and explain what the risks are. I like how you organized your paragraphs in chronological order with the author's reasons and counterarguing them. You made the rewards the author provided seem like risks. In addition, I loved how you incorported examples in each of your paragraph; this helps the readers to understand your point more easily. However, it would be even better if you can provide more reliable evidences. You can even provide your own experience of using a product advertised by a celebritiy or finding statistics on the drop of sale of a company after the celebrity ruined its reputation. It would be also great if you can include the works cited page. Overall, your essay was easy to follow. I hope my suggestions help you write the fianl draft. Good luck!
Sora Shin
Railey,
ReplyDeleteFirst things first, good introductory paragraph. You did a good job of summing up Elberse's article while also preparing us for the points that you would address. I thought your first point about the Carl Jr. TV Ad would have been well analyzed had the target audience of the ad indeed been young children. I think that it is safe to assume that the target audience for an ad like this is mid-teen to adult men. It would be easy to argue that by putting themselves at "risk" with such an ad Carl Jr. succeeds in their goal, getting their name out. Personally I had never heard of Carl Jr's. before I read your article and neither had I seen the TV ad. That being said now that I have heard of them and if i had seen the ad I would be more inclined to try a Carl Jr's. burger than another brand that i had not heard of, simply because of name recognition. Your next point about celebrities not caring or knowing about the products they endorse was well formulated. the only thing I could think of that is a valid counterpoint is that most people would not attach their name to something that they have no belief or faith in. I found your conclusion very confusing, almost as if you left out small series of words in each of the first few sentences and i still am not sure what the first few sentences are trying to convey. Overall though, good work, and good luck on your revisions.
Tom Calhoun
Railey,
ReplyDeleteI really like how your "paper" is constructed, how you take the three components of E's thesis, and rebut them individually with examples of celebrity endorsements that prove the opposite of the claim.
Here are a few suggestions, they are my opinion, and you don't necessarily have to pay attention to them.
The rhetorical question in the opening paragraph does not seem to fit the theme of the paper. In it (your paper) you argue, ultimately that celebrity endorsements are negligible, however, the question at the beginning suggests that your audience is susceptible to these ads, which gives the impression that you also feel they are effective in reaching audiences.
Another issue is the flow, not so bad, but you have a few sentences like "This can be seen in a negative light though" that are very abrupt, and don't make a smooth transition between points.
Anything else i found, was mostly grammar, and cannot really be addressed here.
So, overall, it's well done, just work on the intro, and flow.
-Neal
Railey,
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job on the introduction of your essay. I felt that your thesis was very strong, but at the same time I felt as if you were giving too much information in the introduction. The fact that you asked questions as a rhetorical strategy really helps you draw in readers. You have many good points, but I felt as if you didn’t have enough information to support it. For example, you could look up factual information about how much it really helps companies when it comes to celebrity endorsements. You had great examples throughout the essay supporting your opinion. The fact you asked questions really makes the reader think about their stance on this argument. When I was reading the original editorial, I was a little confused as to whether she was arguing that celebrity endorsements will give companies a profit no matter what or she was arguing celebrity endorsements should continue because it gives companies profit, even though the celebrity might have little knowledge about the product itself. I completely agree with your opinion on this because I believe that you must have some knowledge of the product before you go out and endorse it. Overall, I thought you did a great job on this essay. Good luck with the final draft.
Bibek.
Dear Railey,
ReplyDeleteThe second draft is really good. I think both your introduction and conculsion were very strong. The introduction gave me a clear point of view of what you were going to talk about throughout the essay and the conculsion was able to wrap up the essay in a clear way that I was able to understand what the whole essay was aboout. I did not see very much of a change or difference from the first draft to the second draft. I think that there are still a couple of things that could benefit you. There seems to be a good deal of opinion in this paper and not as much facts to go along with the topic of the paper. I think i mentioned in the first draft that it would be useful to have some strong resources and it doesn't have to be very many in order to make your point clear. You could always look at statistics of a certain brand of a product or a certain company to show the increase in their sales due to the celebrites endorsing it. Honestly, if you were just to include some supporting sources and list more of the facts about this, your paper would be that much stronger. I think your second draft was really good just make sure that you have your list of sources to go with your paper at the end. Im not really sure how many sources you need but as long as you at least have two strong ones that would make the paper stand out a lot better. Really good job on the second draft. I really liked the style of writing with the questions in the essay. It was able to grab my attention in the essay. Just make sure to do that one thing. Good luck as you write your final draft.
Ashley